


The Outer Regions of Pluto

by caerynlae



Category: Scorpion (TV 2014)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-22 10:53:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11378715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caerynlae/pseuds/caerynlae
Summary: A collection of one-shots that focus on how Walter feels out of sync with the rest of the world.





	1. Million Miles an Hour

**Author's Note:**

> This is my take on why Walter finds street races calming, mediating. The concept between consciousness and unconsciousness here is taken from neurological studies. These state that learnt skills are best executed when the consciousness is not involved and that in fact its interference would be detrimental to performance. [Reference: “The Brain: The Story of You“ by David Eagleman, Chapter 3. 2015. Canongate Book Ltd. Edinburgh, Great Britain.]
> 
> The chapter title is taken from the song "Million Miles An Hour" by Nickelback.

_“Conscious interference would worsen his performance.”_ \- David Eagleman in “The Brain: The Story of You“, Chapter 3. 2015. Canongate Book Ltd. Edinburgh, Great Britain.

One thought chasing the next. Thousands coming and going. Faster than others can process a single one. Never ending. Calming them down enough to fall asleep – nearly impossible.

It’s exhausting. It’s infuriating. It’s something others don’t understand. Even my fellow geniuses don’t seem to grasp that my neurons fire at orders of magnitudes faster than theirs. Making connections, jumping from one idea to the next, discarding hundreds of concepts before they even properly form, considering myriads of possibilities in nigh parallel. Allowing me to draw conclusions, have ideas, see concepts that others don’t. Allowing me to save the day, the critical idea on a mission, saving lives. I wouldn’t trade my mind for anything in the world. And yet.

Lying wide awake at night, still one thought chasing the next at a million miles an hour. Nothing, absolutely nothing, able to calm them down. Except. Except posing myself a challenge that requires every single neuron in my brain to work in conjunction, letting my unconsciousness lead because the situation is so precarious that I inherently _know_ that if I pass the control to my consciousness, the process will take too long and I will lose, maybe my life. Street races are one of the few options that I have that can finally get my consciousness to shut down, stopping the thoughts from flooding my very being, and to just react instead. Handing control over to my unconscious to make decisions in a split second that even my conscious mind is incapable of accomplishing quickly enough. Thus, I’d rather race at 150 miles an hour than lie awake at night.

My foot accelerates, my hand pulls the break, I drift around the corner before my consciousness can catch up to my movement. Adrenaline rushing through my veins. I know, had I been off by even a little, my car would’ve smashed into the barrier. It would’ve not withstood and the car would’ve gone sailing off into the river below. My heart is beating fast, every fibre of my body is reacting to the extreme stress situation I find myself in. Except my brain. My brain is finally quiet.


	2. The Madness of People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Walter contemplates how platitudes feel meaningless to him but seem important to other people.

_"I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies, but not the madness of people"_ – Isaac Newton

Society has these unwritten rules that everyone seems to understand but me. And this seems nothing short of a mockery to me, as I'm one of the most intellectually enabled people on this planet who can understand highly complicated concepts within seconds. Yet I fail at something so fundamental and basic as human interaction. It frustrates me to no end.

For example, apparently, when you meet someone, you should start the conversation by expressing that it is nice to meet them. But why? Why waste our precious time on something as inane as this? I only just met that person, there is no way to tell right now if it’s “nice” to know them yet. Why can't we get started with an actually interesting conversation? This way I could more quickly evaluate if we hold compatible views or not. And who has ever just met someone and said that it is horrible to meet them? Saying something so redundant is not just inefficient, but also insincere.

I tried to learn these rules and apply them as appropriate but they always come across as awkward and artificial to other people. Well, they are, so that's not really a surprise. Still, I try my best. But more often than not I'm so submerged in reaching my goal, that I just plain forget that these silly rules exist. Then, instead of thinking I'm weird, I come across as just plain rude in other people's eyes instead.

Every time I focus on being efficient, it seems to be taken as an affront by other people. They'd rather I waste my time on meaningless platitudes. And as a result, they refer to me as a robot when I don't conform to their expectations. Just because they cannot and refuse to understand the world from my point of view. And yet, they expect me to slow down and understand theirs. It's baffling, confusing and, frankly, hurts. That's why I'm so glad to have found Toby, Happy and Sylvester.

Without them I would've never realized that there _are_ others who see the world as I do and I'm glad that I was able to show Ralph the same and, luckily, at a much earlier age than I was when I found the others. With the team’s support and a mother as amazing as Paige, I hope that Ralph will be able to grow up to be a more adjusted and balanced person than I am. I hope he can move in both worlds without it feeling like a monumental effort. The way it feels for me every time I have to try to process the world from a Normal's point of view.

And for knowing that I'm not alone, I love my team more than life itself. I know that I will never be able to actually voice that sentiment but I hope it becomes clear to them through my actions.


End file.
